Reflections in Bloemendaal and the Eiffel

For most people the period between Christmas and the first working day in the new year is a period of family gathering and reflection. Sometimes this is a simultaneous event.

On Christmas eve I, a Jewish born Taoistic Zenisch Aquarian, went to a small church in Bloemendaal to sing Mantra's. I went with my dear friend Tessa who I have met through my close friend and fellow zaadzster John who I have met on a retreat in Germany in 2005. Well, one of the good things was that the mantra's were in Hebrew. It was a new and nice experience for me to be with a group of people in a spiritual setting on Christmas eve. But I also noticed how much I am on my own spiritual path and that connecting with a group also has it limitations. So in stead of drinking tea in church Tessa and I went for a Baileys and a beer in the pub. This was a whole other spiritual experience.

Having such a nice evening with both aspects of spiritual meditation and spiritual drinking does help me to solve the questions that occasionally arise from a dual thinking part within me. Am I more a spiritual warrior or an earthly enjoyer? Am I more a group person or am I more an individual hermit? Well to be honest I am both.

It is the balancing that, however sometimes is difficult, makes life fun. How fortunate I am to be in a position that I am able to choose. And how grateful I am for the possibilities I have that I can choose from. And there is nothing specific that I have done for that, I am just lucky to be born here and now as me. Despite that some people respond to this feeling with expressions like " you have done a lot of work in previous lives to be in this position in this life" I feel just lucky. And most of all grateful. That is something to cherish, at least for me.

It also gives a responsibility, being aware that not every one is as fortunate as I am. Around 50% of the global population lives under the realm of poverty of an income less than $2 a day. Just think of that. We spend that amount of money without thinking on a cup of coffee.

Christmas is also a period that we collectively remind ourselves and each other of these things. I must say that I have mixed feelings about this. Yes, it is great that we have Christmas as a period of reflection and that there are so many initiatives in that period to support the people who have less than we do. I also feel the pain of not being in connection with this noble part of us during the rest of the year. How easily we forget.

But lets' stay optimistic, that is part of my nature. How would life be if we were conscious of our fellow beings, not only human, and how would the world look like if we enacted likewise? I think and hope this is a question that resonates with many zaadzsters. At least that is what I hope. Within CHE it is one of the challenges I deal with as part of its core-team. The bigger picture there is evolution, consciousness and Human Emergence. And more and more an important reference are the millennium goals of the United Nations. In another blog I will go into that and our involvement in a project called Malaria no More! Here I just wanted to share some of my personal reflections I had during the Christmas period and first week of January.

The first week of January I went to my second home in the Eiffel. There live two of my closest friends, Dan and Corinna Hepperle-Rossmy. Dan and Corinna live in a small village called Nettersheim-Frohngrau. And when I say small, I mean small; there are around 200 people living there. The area is great and I have posted som pictures I made during my stay in the Eiffel to give an impression. Corinna is a musician, teacher and horse whisperer. Dan Hepperle is a successful painter, yoga teacher, sanjasin and Zen master. On his website you can get an impression of his paintings.

Dan and Corinna are very special to me. During a difficult period of transformation I was able to spend time with them and find my reconnection with mother earth. This time I spend a long week-end walking, talking, meditating, reading, in silence and in joyful expression. Still the Eiffel helps me to get a deeper connection with Gaia, the mother who gives life to all of us. And that was what my reflections there were about.

Being out there in the landscape, having the wind blow through your hair, watching the sun come up, meeting the deer in the wild and just breathing the freshness of nature helps me remember how precious and beautiful life is. And the strength of a rainy storm helps me to remember that we are also just a little part of the whole. Yes we are the whole and we are the cosmos emerging, like Ken Wilber, Andrew Cohen and others help us believe. And we are not the only ones for whom that counts, EVERYTHING is. Sometimes we forget and then it is like in the book Ishmael - we think evolution is there for us in stead of the other way around. Well in the Eiffel or in nature in general I really can connect with the reality of being part of evolution and the laws of nature. They apply to us like they apply to every other being, we are no exception in that perspective.

However great we are as human beings, however great I am as being human it is also very good to stay humble. Look what we have done or are doing with our capabilities and see what it does to the mother that gives us all life, earth. My spiritual path is an intense, joyful and experiential one. But there are also moments that I can really relate to the shadow parts, within me and in what we are doing to this planet.

I can deal with the shadow side within me, at least I am trying, knowing that in my true being I am whole and perfect. But what I find more difficult is to deal with the intense feeling of pain I sometimes feel when I focus on earth in a meditation. She is working so hard and sometimes it feels like she can't recover from all the blows she is taking from us. But then again I know this is a projection of my mind that has nothing to do with reality. Life will go on, with or without us. Earth will recover, but will we?

And so we struggle on ... I had a great period and it feels like it is now time to continue the work as a spiritual warrior / activist. What is my primary action? That is something I will save for another blog. With CHE we had a very interesting salon about this topic.

In summary it is all about being the change. I am, here and now, in radical authenticity and ruthless compassion.

So, being grateful and being humble are two basic elements that I reconnected with during my period of reflection. Hopefully I will stay able to act from these two grounding emotions and do great things. With CHE, with Atma and with my life.